Trying to lose weight? The answer may lie in what you want to gain
By Claire Burke
Sorry to break it to you, but dieting, detox teas and 30-day shred challenges won’t give you an influencer-ready body or the confidence boost you’re hoping for.
Despite being conditioned for most of our lives to believe weight loss is the key to living happier/healthier/better, the reality is, it isn’t. Not only that, it rarely sparks the kind of consistent habits that truly improve health, wellbeing and happiness.
Michelle Delaney has shifted her focus from weight loss to strength and flexibility to create lasting change.Credit: Janie Barrett
Depending on which study you read, research suggests up to 95 per cent of dieters end up regaining any weight loss within two years. Fitness coach Loz Antonenko, author of Get the F*ck Unstuck, puts it bluntly.
“Here’s the truth: weight loss is a terrible motivator,” Antonenko says. “It’s external, short-term, and often tied to shame. The science, and my 15-plus years of coaching, shows that intrinsic goals – like having more energy, sleeping better, feeling strong – is what creates real, lasting behaviour change.”
Ditching the weight loss focus
Antonenko points out weight loss is an outcome, not a driver.
“It’s a vague, distant goal that doesn’t give you anything to anchor to day to day,” she says. “Chasing a number on the scales often sets people up for a start-stop cycle: they either get discouraged when progress is slow, or they reach the number, lose the external pressure and slide back into old habits.”
Health and wellness strategist Kathy Ozakovic adds that weight is never the problem itself – it’s a symptom.
“If an individual loses weight without addressing the underlying causes, they’ll either rebound or feel unfulfilled,” Ozakovic says. “The scale might be stubborn to budge, and if that’s all you’re monitoring, you risk missing the positive changes happening elsewhere—like energy, mood, or strength.”
Psychologist Dr Katie Kjelsaas says sustainable change comes from building on what you gain rather than what you’re losing.
“Shift your focus to increased energy, greater body confidence, improved stamina, range of motion, strength. This subtle shift can increase motivation,” Kjelsaas says.
She says lasting behaviour change involves connecting with your identity, the person you want to see yourself as.
“The statement or goal ‘I want to lose weight’ has very little direct link to personal identity,” she says. “Strengthen it by instead focusing on who you are and what you value: ‘I am a person who values health, who wants to live a long, vital life in a strong, responsive body. I take actions that align with this identity. These include eating wholesome, nourishing food; moving my body often and in a variety of ways; ensuring adequate sleep and rest daily; actively monitoring and maintaining my health.’”
Movement that feels good
Antonenko encourages her clients to focus on function over fixation.
“Move for energy, strength, flexibility and mental health,” she says. “Instead of punishing your body into shrinking, nourish it so it can show up for the life you want to live.
“That could mean being able to run around with your kids without puffing, having the stamina for a weekend hike, or simply waking up without an energy crash by 10am.”
After years of restrictive dieting and feeling the pressure to maintain a flat stomach and thigh gap, Michelle Delaney, 40, is now motivated to live a healthy, active lifestyle by the vitality it provides.
“I want to live a long life, but I also want quality,” she says. “I want to be able to get up out of a chair or off the floor unassisted in my 80s – most 65-year-olds can’t do that. I want to be that lady who still plays with her grandchildren.”
Delaney says she hasn’t weighed herself in years, but keeps active through gentle exercise such as yoga and walking.
“I like to take the stairs or experience the scenic route and notice the beauty around me, and enjoy that I can move my body wherever I can,” she says.
Shifting mindset
Ryan Dixon, 24, says he’s in the best shape of his life since shifting his mindset away from weight loss and more on to movement and health. After years of fad diets and exercise kicks, the aspiring actor experienced a breakthrough during a breath-work session that helped him reframe his priorities.
“Movement and health has become a cornerstone of my daily life,” Dixon says. “I have found deep happiness in learning to take care of myself.”
He has run every day and trained in calisthenics and strength for more than a year, and is motivated by how he feels within himself.
“I love looking in the mirror every day and being proud of the face smiling back,” he says.
The tools for lasting change
So how do you turn motivation into action? Experts point to a few key habits that make regular movement stick.
Antonenko says lasting change comes from the small, repeatable habits – the daily “non-negotiables” like eating and sleeping well, moving your body and staying hydrated – that keep you going even when motivation dips.
The experts highlight four essentials: clarity, consistency, flexibility and environment.
Focusing primarily on weight can be counterproductive to lasting results.Credit: iStock
“Clarity comes from knowing your ‘why’ beyond aesthetics; consistency means showing up even when it’s inconvenient,” Antonenko says. “Flexibility ensures you have multiple options to adapt when life happens, rather than giving up completely.”
Ozakovic, the health and wellness strategist, says the role of environment and support systems is also important. “You either shape your environment or it will shape you,” she says. “Choose your support system – who you train with, where – so that healthy choices are the easy option.”
Other tips Antonenko suggests include setting the bar at a level where you reasonably can hit your goals, scheduling movement into your diary like any other appointment, and pairing habits together – like walking while on a phone call – to help them stick.
“Most importantly, stop framing health as an all-or-nothing sprint,” she says. “It’s a series of tiny, intentional choices, stacked up over time, that compound into the life you actually want to live.”
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