This first date could lead to a baby down the track. And it’s in front of a live audience
So, you want to have a baby and need to use donor sperm. What qualities would you look for? Eye colour? Height? What about having a PhD? Being a gym bunny?
Writer and performer Krishna Istha.Credit: Jordon Rossi & Emily Drake
Krishna Istha was intrigued to see that online sperm donor sites, in Britain at least, list those traits as key parts of prospective donors’ bios, almost as selling points.
It led the London-based Sex Education writer/performer and partner Logan Rea – a trans couple, neither of whom produce sperm – on a journey to find their own donor and develop their own set of questions (and no, being a jock isn’t one), coming up with a very novel process through which to identify them.
“It’s like a series of first dates – live on stage – for a friend who gives sperm,” Istha says, laughing.
First Trimester, to be staged at this year’s Melbourne Fringe Festival, invites interested parties to join the show, which will see Istha interview dozens of potential donors (aged over 18) live on stage, quizzing them about everything from philosophy to pop culture. The list of questions numbers about 400 and it was put together by the couple with others who have gone through the process of seeking a donor.
Some questions are spiritual (what do you think happens when we die?); some are about personality type (do you like to plan or go with the flow?); some address parenting specifically (do you want children of your own?); while others are more random (what’s your favourite way to move your body?). Most importantly, Istha wonders, have you watched The Princess Diaries?
Want to be interviewed onstage about your innermost thoughts? Come on down - it’s fun, says Krishna Istha.Credit: Jordan Rossi and Emily Drake
It sounds terrifying - first dates alone fill many people with fear, but live on stage and with such high stakes, I wonder how many people are keen to be involved. Many, as it turns out: there is already a shortlist of candidates thanks to the show’s staging in London, Dublin, Copenhagen and Auckland.
“People who have done it have always loved it, once you get into it,” says Istha, who appeared in Hannah Gadsby’s Gender Agenda on Netflix. “It sounds serious, scary and maybe even a bit sensationalist but because of the way the questions are framed we have a lot of laughs, there’s a lot of levity in it.
“Reactions from the audience have been consistent in a way, which is to do with the fact the participants are always local, so the people in front of me are local to you, even if I’m not connecting with them – which is funny in its own way – but you as an audience are.”
In 2023, Istha and Rea made the short film SPERM DONORS WANTED! about their journey together as a trans couple trying to start a family, thanks to the Netflix Documentary Talent Fund.
First Trimester involves live interviews on stage.Credit: Ruby Parker-Harbord
“First Trimester is a celebration of the many ways families are created today,” says Melbourne Fringe creative director Simon Abrahams. “It uses candid conversation and humour to think about people who cannot conceive naturally but would make incredible parents.”
While the show is literally a search to find a sperm donor, it is also an artistic and social experiment through which Istha hopes to start and continue conversations around trans reproductive healthcare.
Interested parties sign up beforehand and have a brief online chat (which usually takes about 10 minutes) with the producer, to ensure they know what’s coming. Most have never been on stage before, so this is an important part of the process. The producer then “works out the puzzle of who comes when”, Istha says.
“There’s a dramaturgy to the show – no two people who are similar appear next to each other.”
Participants can bow out of the process at any point and are guaranteed they will remain anonymous - as will the baby, once born.
The writer’s favourite question, which some take literally and others respond to with sarcasm, is: “Are you a bad boy?”
“It says so much about the person in the way they respond to it, even though it seems like a silly question,” Istha says. “It feels like people are quite truthful – I create a rapport with them before the questions come through, also they know what they’ve signed up for. You don’t have to answer anything if you don’t want to.”
But you may end up with a child somewhere down the track. How’s that for a known known when you’re going on a first date?
First Trimester is on at Arts House, North Melbourne from October 16 to 18, including an eight-hour durational performance on October 18. Audience members can come and go at any time. Melbourne Fringe Festival runs from September 30–October 19.
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